Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
