i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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