I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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