I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
