One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
