morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
