I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
