where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Apparently you make a good broom.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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