I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
