I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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