i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
