Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
