Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
