i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
