I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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