so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
