i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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