Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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