She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this just has baby written all over it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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