Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
