Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
