do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
