I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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