i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
