I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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