i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
