I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
