I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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