susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize