I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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