We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
