My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Did we literally take a cab across the street
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
