yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My feet surprised me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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