Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
