problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
