I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
