do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
