Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that's an acceptable place to lick
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
