he puts the penis in happiness.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
