don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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