Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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