She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
