I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
