An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
