: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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