can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
