I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
