new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
