Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
