I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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