I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
