He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
