Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
This couple is walking their pig around campus
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
