the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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